Brain's Dress Mess
by Prince Lutin
Summary: After a mishap that leaves Brain short on clothes, he has to wear one of his mom's dresses. It turns out that he likes how it feels and wants to wear dresses more often, especially after Ladonna tells him about Caden Swift, a male celebrity who wears dresses and skirts. But soon Brain ends up the laughing stock of the whole school.
1. Chapter 1

_**DISCLAIMER:** I do not own Arthur or related characters. They are property of Marc Brown._

_This fanfic is rated M for language, innuendos, and inappropriate clothing choices. Not for those under 18._

_As of this fanfic, I'm no longer going to be posting "The Estate of Nibiru-Mul" since I haven't used that screen name in years._

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**BRAIN'S DRESS MESS**

**CHAPTER 1**

One Saturday at the Elwood City Mall, we see Arthur and D.W. walking in with their mom. Mrs. Read and the kids pass by the sports store. Arthur lays his eyes on a speedo.

"Can I have a speedo?" asked Arthur.

"No," said Mrs. Read.

"Mom, it's just a swimsuit," said Arthur. "George's mom bought him one and..."

"Arthur, it's an inappropriate swimsuit," said Mrs. Read. "You're not getting one!"

"But..." said Arthur.

"NO!" said Mrs. Read.

Arthur faces the camera.

"Don't you hate it when your parents won't let you wear what you want?" said Arthur.

We now cut to Mr. Ratburn's class. Binky is raising his hand.

"Since it's Ramadan," said Binky, "can I wear a burqa?"

Mr. Ratburn closed the shutters.

"No," he said.

We now cut to Buster's house. Buster is in his mom's room, looking at the Alexandra's Secret bag. He took out a pair of frilly pink panties, since he wanted to try them on.

"No!" said Bitzi.

Buster put the panties back and then took out a pair of black panties.

"No!" said Bitzi again.

Buster then tried hooking one of his mom's bras to himself.

"NO!" said Bitzi a third time.

Buster put the bra down.

We now cut to Mr. Crosswire's office. Muffy is sitting in there talking to her dad.

"No!" said Mr. Crosswire.

"Daddy! How could you?" said Muffy.

"I mean, not right now muffin," said Mr. Crosswire. "We don't have the closet space for diapers quite yet." Yes, Muffy wanted to wear diapers.

"AAAAAAHAHA!" cried Muffy.

We now cut back to Arthur.

"Sometimes no is all I ever hear," said Arthur.

D.W. was laughing at Arthur. He looked down and saw that he was wearing a Mary Moo Cow T-shirt!

"AAAAAAAA!" he said. "This is something _I'd_ say no to."

We now see the title card for the episode. It says "Brain's Dress Mess." We see Alan "Brain" Powers wearing a frilly pink dress and the Tough Customers laughing at him.


	2. Chapter 2

**CHAPTER 2: SJW CENTRAL**

We focus on Brain's house in Elwood City. Brain is sleeping in his bed, dreaming about some overly convoluted math equations.

Brain's mom opened the door to her son's room.

"Alan!" said Mrs. Powers. "Time to wake up!"

Brain woke up and got out of bed. He did his usual morning routine. First, he went downstairs to have some breakfast (today's breakfast being frozen waffles). Then he went to brush his teeth. After that, he went up to his room to get dressed. But when

"AAAAAH! Where the fuck are my clothes?"

Mrs. Powers popped her head through Brain's door.

"Sorry about that," she said. "I forgot to pick up your clean clothes from the laundromat yesterday. I'll have them back later."

"Then what am I going to wear?" said Brain.

"I'm sure you'll find something," said Mrs. Powers

Not long after that, Mrs. Powers left for work. Mr. Powers had also gone to work, so Brain was left by himself. Brain panicked and looked through his drawers, his closet, and anywhere where his clothes were. No such luck. But now something funny is going to happen.

While Brain is going downstairs, he notices a yellow dress with blue polka dots sitting at the bottom of the stairs. It was one of his mother's dresses - and it was clean!

"No! Absolutely not!" he said. "There is no way I'm going to go to school in a dress."

Cue the Gilligan cut. We now see Brain running down the streets in his mother's dress, eager to get to school. He didn't notice that there were people laughing in the streets. While Brain was running, a little girl pointed to him.

"Grandma!" she said. "That boy is wearing a dress!"

"Good heavens!" said the girl's grandmother. "What kind of vulgar, obscene, unholy abomination is THAT?"

After a while, Brain finally made it to school. He was still determined to get to class. By now, he seemed to be aware that people were laughing at him for wearing a dress. But this didn't matter. Moments before reaching class, the bell rang. Brain got in twelve seconds later.

"Alan!" said Mr. Ratburn. "You're twelve seconds late!"

The students looked at Brain with blank looks on their face. Then all of them (except for Ladonna and Sue Ellen) laughed.

"Sorry I'm late," said Brain.

Brain took his seat near Francine, Muffy, and Ladonna. Francine and Muffy were giggling.

"What''s so funny?" Brain asked them.

"You!" said Muffy, giggling.

"Me?" said Brain.

Binky turned around and looked at Brain with a big smirk on his face.

"Why hello there, Princess Brain," he said mockingly. "He looks so cute in that pretty dress!" Binky laughed. "You faggot!"

"Ahem," said Mr. Ratburn.

"Oh...sorry..." said Binky. "I forgot you were gay."

"Now is not an appropriate time to discuss sexuality," said Mr. Ratburn. "It's time to get to work. Today's lesson is going to be about igneous rocks. Did everyone do last night's reading?"

Brain was blushing

"Brain!" said Ladonna. "I like your dress."

"You do?" said Brain. "You're not being sarcastic, aren't you?"

"No way," said Ladonna. "I think it's pretty cool. Very bold too. There's this celebrity called..."

Mr. Ratburn turned around.

"Alan, Ladonna, please pay attention to the lesson."

Brain and Ladonna cut the chit-chat and paid attention to Mr. Ratburn.

"I'll tell you at lunch," said Ladonna.

Cut to lunchtime. Everyone is in the cafeteria enjoying their lunch. Brain is carrying a tray with a steak, mashed potatoes, and a box of orange juice. He walked over to the table where Ladonna and Sue Ellen were sitting. Ladonna's tray had a hot dog with mustard, orange juice, and a slice of Boston cream pie, while Sue Ellen's tray had macaroni and cheese, corn, and apple juice.

"So Ladonna," said Brain, sitting down, "what did you want to tell me about?"

"Well, Brain," said Ladonna, "there's this celebrity I'm a fan of named Caden Swift. He's the son of Bill Swift, and he's an actor in his own right too. Caden Swift enjoys wearing dresses and skirts even though he's a boy." Ladonna took out a fashion magazine and showed Brain the picture of Caden Swift. Caden Swift was a rabbit with a curly undercut and he was wearing a black dress and thigh-high boots.

"Wow..." said Brain blankly.

"He's so fucking cool," said Ladonna. "He's even got his own line of gender neutral clothing that includes dresses that guys can wear."

"His clothing is available at the mall in Elwood City," said Sue Ellen.

"Gender neutral?" said Brain. "Now that's silly. Men and women have different anatomies..."

"Not these days," said Sue Ellen. "The truth is, sometimes boys can have vaginas. And some girls have penises."

Yep, Sue Ellen has gone full-blown SJW in this fanfic. At the table next to hers, Muffy, Francine, Binky, and Arthur were laughing.

"Look at those SJWs," said Muffy. "Rambling about their so-called fashion. They wouldn't know what fashion is if it bit them in the ass."

"Yeah," said Arthur. "They're trying to indoctrinate Brain into thinking that it's okay to have genders besides male and female."

"If Brain comes in wearing a dress tomorrow, I'm going to pound him," said Binky.

The four of them laughed again.

"Uh-oh," said Brain. "Looks like the heteronormative people are onto us!"

"Don't worry," said Sue Ellen. "Our credo is love and let love. We'll just ignore them and not judge people based on their gender expression."

"Hey Brain!" said Ladonna. "Why not come over to my house tonight? I can show you more stuff about Caden Swift."

"I'd love to," said Brain, "only I have a lot of homework tonight. But I can come over tomorrow night. Deal?"

"Deal," said Ladonna.

Francine and Muffy looked disgusted at Brain, Ladonna, and Sue Ellen.

"Don't worry about a thing, Francine," said Muffy. "We'll get revenge on that tranny Brain."

"Tranny?" said Francine. "That term is mega-offensive!"

"I can't believe you'd use that term!" said Arthur.

"Sorry..." said Muffy. "I'll just try to remember what I'm saying. But I've got my eye on Brain and his...alternative lifestyle choices."

"I'm onto him too," said Binky.

"We're going to make sure his lifestyle doesn't become the new in thing," said Muffy. She laughed diabolically until she started coughing. "Sorry...wrong pipe."


End file.
